Note to self

The ugly truth: Wendy’s at 12:30am is never a good idea.

The silver lining: Finally realizing that I really hate fast food.

The fear: That it won’t matter next time I’m tired and hungry.

Why do I spend money on crappy food that’s terrible for me, that makes me feel awful afterward and that I’d admit doesn’t even taste good if I’d take the time to actually taste it? It’s almost entirely emotional, that’s why. This reminds me of the old therapy/12 step acronym that they used to (and probably still do) throw around: HALT. Never get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

I grew up in a very therapy-centered home, so things like that come to mind easily and most of the time they seem irrelevant or silly to me, but I think that this makes sense. I was hungry, for sure (I’d actually eaten just over 1000 calories for the day - obviously not enough), and though I wasn’t angry or particularly lonely, I was really tired. I should have gone to bed instead of deciding to take the dog for a ride that ended up in a different neighborhood (where I went specifically because it’s got the only Wendy’s for miles). I’m sharing this in the interest of honesty - I’m usually a lot more protective of my struggles - and because this has to stop. No more wasting good money on garbage that’s going to hurt me.

Now I’m going where I should have gone two hours ago: bed.